Holiday Inn, operator of over 4,000 hotels worldwide, will begin to offer a free five-minute "human bed warming service" at it's London Kensington hotel throughout next week.
If requested, a willing member of hotel staff will jump in your bed, dressed head to foot in an all-in-one sleeper suit, until your nightly chamber warms up.
"Like having a giant hot water bottle in your bed" is how Holiday Inn spokeswoman Jane Bednall described the idea.
Or a stranger in your room with access to your bed.
Too close. Strangers. Creepers. Hobos. Dirty suit. Unwashed. Unclean. Dirty pig. Bed bugs. Weirdos.
Oh, I'm sorry. In my shock I have begun to ramble with disgust.
Who is applying for this kind of job? Is Holiday Inn just going to stick any old maid in a suit and send her up with the night-staff busboy to "warm" up a bed? This has the potential to allow murderers, psychopaths, and stalkers access to hotel rooms.
Perhaps the idea is enough for people like me. I'm hot about this already!