Father's day

Today many of us have had the privilege of sitting down to a meal with our fathers, or perhaps wishing them a good day over the phone, reminding them of our love and gratitude for all they have done as we've grown.

I can't help but pray for those without fathers. (We can say the same of our mothers, but today, please allow my gender bias.) Saturday morning I took a run in the humid drizzle. Taking a turn toward downtown, I saw a woman walking with an umbrella. As I approached, tears were streaming down her face as she called to me to stop. "Excuse me," she said, "have you seen this little boy?" In her other hand she held a crumpled picture of a young boy. I pressed her for details, her 14 year old boy had gone to the park the night before and never came home. At 9 the next morning, his mother was beside herself with fear, knocking on doors and begging for a tip. She had filed a police report, but when I asked if she had called his friends, she had no idea who he had gone to meet.

There I stood, in pain for her and yet torn by the idea that this mother didn't know who her son's friends are, or who he went to meet. Far from being in a position to give her parenting advice, I knew that not holding her son accountable was part of the reason he could leave at night without a sense of responsibility- and I would later come to find there was no father in the picture of this family.

Young boys with no responsibility, hanging out with thugs, ditching school, doing drugs, or what have you - simply can't learn those lessons from a mother. Mothers and fathers have such distinct roles, I think we forget how important it is for children to have both influences. Granted, people can grow up to be fairly balanced individuals with just one parent, or be severely damaged even with two parents. But the typical case seems a young boy without a father will suffer immensely in understanding his role as an adult male, desperate for attention from older peers and tossing off the mother, or women, who demand more of them- perhaps in the way their father tossed their mother off.

So while I will pray this mother finds her child, I will thank God for all the fathers who have stood up to the challenge. To those who have decided no matter the circumstances to be a man and show your children the love, respect, and responsibility they should learn - today is for you. To every child without a father -may at some point you learn from someone what a father's love is. And much like the little boy who's father came home from war, may you be able to run to your father's arms, unabashed in your emotion and joy for him.