Thursday, March 13, 2008

The pain of our fathers

People is reporting Amy Winehouse suffered from her father's afair. I guess that explains why she's a drug addict and total loser - or at least it explains her angry song about men.

And now Governor Eliot Spitzer, known evidently as "holier than thou," betrays the women of his life- wife and three grown teenage daughters. To hear the news analysts talk about what kind of emotional damage his behavior will cause to those young ladies simply saddens me. To think the one person they trusted so much and found their expectations of men in has turned their back on them. He has abandoned them in more ways than just having sex with a hooker.

I shake my head, though perhaps I'm a hypocrite to comment since my father was nothing like those kind of men. My father is the kind of father that loves his children with the unconditional love of God, and reflects that in almost all the choices he makes. I have a special relationship with my dad, and he would never have wronged my sister and I, nor my mother.

Your father should be the first love of your life. He should be your hero, the man you run to when your heart aches, the man you measure your future husband to, the man who treasures you no matter what your faults are. It's a tall order, men. But for little girls, you have a tremendous impact.

I suppose we can give Mitch Winehouse a break, since he is acknowledging Amy suffered from his behavior. And then the jerk says this:
"It is easy for me to say it is my fault, and that had I been a better parent this would not have happened. But who knows whether it would or not?" he says.
It certainly wouldn't have hurt if you had been a better parent. Duh!

And I'm not the only one to worry about this, the message that men like Eliot Spitzer are sending. David North of Long Island writes:
"Most of the analysis about this case has focused on law, career, marital fidelity and America's attitudes about prostitution. Less discussed, but equally important, are the expectations and outlook of daughters about relationships with their fathers and the future men in their lives. Does Spitzer's case lead young girls to believe that a vow to forsake all others is meaningless to men? Does it normalize prostitution?

Spitzer has three daughters, ages 13, 15 and 17. Did it cross his mind that "Kristen," 22, is also somebody's daughter?"
Probably not. It's a wonder what "Kristen's" own father was like, to lead her to prostitute herself...maybe we can't blame a father that isn't there?

North continues:
"Fear may be the stick, but education and confidence are the carrot. He says his goal is to convince them that becoming independent and accomplished women is the best, safest route for girls. "But I do wonder, with stories like this [Spitzer's], if they think, 'What's up with guys?'"

Yeah, what's up with guys? A successful term or two in office and Spitzer could have been a candidate for president. He risked his career and lost it, and he may yet lose his family. Transcripts indicate "Client 9" was even willing to put his wife's health at risk."
And while I didn't want to go there, it only fits:
"By all accounts, Chelsea, now 28, is an accomplished woman, but who knows what emotional effects her dad's very public infidelity had on her?"
I know I've gone on about the effect on women, but North doesn't leave out men. And I agree. To stand up to the tall order, how will they learn from the men making news headlines today?
"Women and girls need to believe men can be trusted. And we, men and boys, need models to live up to - not excuses to live down to."

Oh. I forgot to say, thank you Daddy.

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